DEAR ABBY: My husband was recently offered a new job that carries with it a significant increase in salary as well as upward mobility. He was offered the job by a woman he used to work with years ago. She will be his new boss.
It was recently brought to my attention that not only were they co-workers, they also used to sleep together. He tells me there's absolutely nothing there, and that I don't need to be worried. However, I can't help but wonder why they have maintained contact for all these years, and why she sought him out to work for her.
She is also married, and I wonder if her husband knows their history, and if he would be OK with his wife's request to work with a former lover.
Am I overreacting? Or should people cut off contact with their exes once they are married? Should I be worried about a physical or emotional affair? I just don't have a good feeling about this. Thank you for your help. -- NEEDS AN OBJECTIVE OPINION
DEAR NEEDS: In a situation like this, much depends upon the individuals involved and the circumstances of the breakup. Not all romances end acrimoniously. Sometimes they gradually diminish and the people involved move on.
It would be interesting to know who told you your husband and this woman were once lovers. If it was your husband, I think you have less to be concerned about than if it was someone "trying to be helpful." It is possible that the woman contacted your husband because she is familiar with his work ethic and his abilities and thinks he would be the best person for the job.
That said, however, there are four people involved in this situation. And your question about whether her husband is aware of their history is a good one, because he should be.