DEAR ABBY: At holiday time, my husband's family takes a photo of all the brothers and sisters and insists that the spouses not be included in the photo. The first time it happened, I thought it was rude, but after 40 years, I have gotten used to it. However, my daughter-in-law, who is new to the family, was hurt by it. Am I wrong in thinking this is rude? -- IN OR OUT OF THE PICTURE
DEAR IN OR OUT: I don't think you're wrong. When people are excluded, they don't feel accepted as part of the family -- and they're right. Are more photos taken that include all family members including husbands, wives and children? And if not, why would the spouses tolerate it for 40 years without speaking up?