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by Abigail Van Buren

Clerk Questions If She Should Report Potential Child Abuse

DEAR ABBY: What is the protocol for divorced parents paying for the rehearsal dinner for their son who is getting married? My ex-wife expects me to pay for a significantly bigger portion of the expenses, yet at the time of our divorce she insisted on splitting the assets 50/50.

My opinion is that because we are equal in the parenting, we should divide the expenses 50/50. I'm willing to concede to her some credit IF she does a significant amount of work and planning (over and above my own), but this should be negotiated ahead of time. We are both employed and have good incomes. We are both remarried and our spouses work. What's your take on this, Abby? -- RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE

DEAR DOWN THE MIDDLE: The parents of the groom traditionally bear the cost of the rehearsal dinner. Because you and your son's mother are divorced, she should pay for half -- unless there is such a disparity in your incomes that it would cause her financial stress. If your ex needs "credit," then by all means discuss it with her. This is a time to put aside old grievances and celebrate, if only for the sake of your son.