DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for more than 30 years. It has been a very lonely marriage. I raised the kids alone while he worked and volunteered at the church and teen club.
I spent the first 10 years of our marriage nagging him to spend time with me and the kids, but he was always too busy "doing good." I tried a couple of times to participate in his life by camping with him and the teens, but the girls gossiping until 1 a.m. and the boys stick sword fighting at 5 a.m. left me exhausted and irritable. Plus, it didn't accomplish anything because he didn't spend any time with me and the kids, anyway. I finally gave up nagging and just concentrated on raising our three kids.
Our kids are now grown, although one still lives at home and attends college. I feel stuck because I don't have Biblical grounds for divorce. I'm only 50, so I'm looking at 30 more years of loneliness.
A couple of years ago, I found a really fun sport -- scuba diving. I've made some great friends, but this isn't something I'll be able to do for the next 30 years. Do you have any suggestions? -- LONELY IN THE WEST
DEAR LONELY: Not knowing to which religious denomination you belong, the best advice I can offer is for you to talk to your clergyperson about possible grounds for divorce within your religion. That you have been effectively emotionally deserted for decades by your husband might qualify. You have my sympathy.