DEAR ABBY: I have known "Julia" for a long time. She was my best friend in high school and my maid of honor when I got married. She and her husband have an open relationship and invite other women into their bedroom. Several years ago, when my husband and I were struggling, they asked me if I wanted to join them. I declined in favor of working on my marriage. After that, Julia and I drifted apart and we spoke only rarely.
Our children go to the same school now, so we have reconnected and I realize how much I have missed having her as a close friend. Recently, however, Julia's husband, "Jerry," has started making suggestive remarks when he's the one picking their daughter up from school. It makes me really uncomfortable. When I told my husband about it, he wasn't happy.
How do I ask this man to stop without losing Julia's friendship again? I see them every day now, and I'd hate for there to be bitterness between us. -- NOT INTERESTED THAT WAY
DEAR NOT INTERESTED: Tell Jerry that his comments are making you uncomfortable and to cut it out. Point out that while you and your husband are not judgmental about their lifestyle, you are not interested in being more than good platonic friends. Then repeat it to Julia, so she hears it straight from you. If, after that, your refusal to participate in their bedroom antics causes "bitterness," then so be it.