DEAR ABBY: How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped? My adult son, "Greg," who lives with me, is slowly drinking himself to death. He was laid off two years ago, and I know he is depressed and has given up on life.
It has reached the point where he is showing signs of cirrhosis, but he refuses to do anything about it. The last time he saw a doctor was three years ago. The doctor said Greg's liver functions were not normal and he needed to stop drinking. I've tried to make my son listen to reason, to no avail.
My sister tells me if I don't get Greg some help, I could be charged with adult neglect. But I don't know how to fix this. The outcome is increasingly bleak. What can I do? -- MOM WITH A PROBLEM
DEAR MOM: If the inability to convince a substance-addicted adult relative to get help were against the law, there wouldn't be enough prisons to hold all the "offenders."
As much as you love your son, you can't "fix" his alcohol addiction. You should, however, find the nearest Al-Anon group and attend some meetings. And while you are at it, bring your sister with you because she has a lot to learn. Chief among the lessons is that someone else's drinking is not another person's fault or responsibility to control. I am sorry for your pain, because I'm sure it is considerable.