DEAR ABBY: I was married for 27 years before my divorce. The ending of my marriage was both painful and unexpected. I was in therapy throughout the divorce and for some time after.
Later I moved to another state so I would no longer have to risk running into him. But just when I think I have moved on, something is said or something happens that brings my pain and anger back to the surface.
I heard once that when one is in a serious relationship, that it can take twice as long to get over it. Is this the same for a marriage? Can I expect it to take 2 times 27 years before I am finally over my ex and my divorce? -- UNEXPECTED DIVORCE
DEAR U.D.: There is no set timetable for "getting over" a divorce. Much depends on the reasons for it. Some people hang onto their pain and anger for the rest of their lives. Others grow beyond the experience and are able to move on. They cultivate new friends and interests, and sometimes find a romance to replace the one that was lost. I predict you will move beyond your pain and anger when you are ready for another relationship.