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by Abigail Van Buren

Mix-up Among Gifts and Cards Causes Headache for Bride

DEAR ABBY: My niece got married and some of the gifts got separated from the gift cards. Individual cards were found apart from the gifts. So how do you thank the individuals who left gifts without knowing the gift they gave? -- UNSURE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNSURE: While it is preferable to mention the gift when thanking the giver, no rule states that you have to do so. Your niece should start by writing thank-you notes for the gifts that have cards with them, and for those few (I HOPE few) that don't, the givers should be told how meaningful it was to have them present on the special day, and thanked for their generosity. Period.

PS. A helpful hint to anyone sending a wedding or shower gift: Note on the gift card what has been sent (waffle iron, baby blanket, etc.).

Read more in: Etiquette & Ethics | Holidays & Celebrations