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by Abigail Van Buren

Change of Wedding Plans Leaves Flower Girl in Tears

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is getting married soon. Originally, she asked my 4-year-old daughter, "Emma," to be her flower girl. Emma was very excited.

A few weeks ago, I asked when my daughter needed to be fitted for her dress. My sister-in-law then informed me they had chosen my niece to be the flower girl the day after she asked Emma. No one ever mentioned it to us.

It was left to me to tell my daughter, and she was devastated. She still cries about it. I am holding in so much anger and hurt that I have been avoiding the family so there won't be any fighting close to the "big day." Am I wrong to be upset with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law for excluding my little girl and not telling her themselves? -- MIFFED IN ALABAMA

DEAR MIFFED: No, you're not. The way it was handled was extremely insensitive. Your sister-in-law owes you an explanation for what happened and your daughter an apology.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Etiquette & Ethics | Holidays & Celebrations