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by Abigail Van Buren

Husband Who Uncovers Wife's Affair Is Unsure How to Cope

DEAR ABBY: Thirty years ago when I was an Army officer, my wife "went crazy." She had an affair and wound up getting pregnant. When I got out of the Army, she saw the man one time more before we moved and got pregnant again! We had a child together later.

When I found out my eldest son didn't have the correct blood type, I confronted her and she admitted it. I then had all my children tested and realized only the last one is mine. I love the other two as well as my son, and I would not destroy his or the other boys' lives.

My wife and I had counseling and it helped some. The problem is, I feel like my life has been destroyed and I don't know what to do. -- COUNSELING HELPED ... BUT

DEAR C.H.B.: I assume you and your wife had joint counseling after you learned about her repeated infidelities. While your faith in women may have been shaken, your life has not been "destroyed." Feeling as you do, it's time for you to privately discuss your feelings with another licensed mental health professional. After that, you will be better equipped to rationally decide how to move forward.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Family & Parenting | Mental Health