DEAR ABBY: I started a new job four months ago after being out of work because of a large downsizing at my last employer's, an insurance company. My new job is close to home, and I really like the work involved.
I'm single, in my early 40s and have a wonderful relationship with a widower I met in church. My problem involves my immediate boss, who is a married man with a family. He has asked me to join him for lunch several times. He has left flowers in my car with a note, and keeps asking me to go to concerts out of town because he says his wife doesn't want to go and he doesn't want to go alone.
I have tried to downplay his advances, but I am afraid it might cost me my job, my boyfriend and the ability to help my parents financially. I am aware my co-workers are probably wondering what is going on. How do I handle this delicate situation and do the right thing? -- IN A QUANDARY IN NEW ENGLAND
DEAR IN A QUANDARY: Tell your boss that you are involved in a committed relationship, and so is he. The next time he invites you to lunch, inform him that his invitations are making you uncomfortable. After that, if he persists in leaving flowers with little notes, hang onto them because they would be evidence that you were being harassed in case your refusal to have a personal relationship affects your employment.