DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law was in a car accident a few months ago and her car was totaled. Since then, my husband takes her food shopping and wherever else she has to go. She has made no effort to buy a new car. She's content with calling him for every need.
She wasn't injured and she isn't disabled. If she doesn't want to do something, her excuse is, "I'm an old lady. I can't do it." It's annoying. She doesn't come visit or call to check on us. She makes us feel like our family has to do everything for her -- while she claims she's "independent."
This has been an issue for a while and I'm sick of it. I suggested she do her grocery shopping online and have it delivered to her house. Once again, she gave the same excuse.
I think she needs a man so I can have my husband back. What do you think? -- OVER IT IN PHILADELPHIA
DEAR OVER IT: From the tone of your last remark it's clear you and your mother-in-law aren't close and probably never were. Philadelphia has a very large transit system. Surely there is alternate transportation for her -- buses, taxis, Uber and Lyft come to mind. If she was so traumatized by the accident that she's afraid to get behind the wheel again, she may need a therapist to overcome it.
Whatever the reason, this won't stop until you and your husband quit enabling her. Give her a list of what's available and "suggest" she use it the next time she calls wanting a ride. If she needs groceries, offer to order them online for her yourself if she isn't computer literate. And your husband should also offer to help her find a new car.