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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Is Devastated to Learn of Wife's Long-Ago Affair

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are in our 60s and have been married more than 40 years. It hasn't always been great, but we've made it.

Recently, while going through some old boxes in the basement, I ran across her diary and discovered that she had an affair while we were engaged. This has left me depressed, hurt and feeling very down. Should I confront her with my findings? -- HURTING IN OHIO

DEAR HURTING: If you feel the need to bring this up after 40 years, then rather than let it fester and ruin the next 40, tell your wife what you have found. However, before you do that, remember diaries are supposed to be private, and you will have to explain why you took it upon yourself to read something that was never meant for you to see.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce