DEAR ABBY: My son "Pete" is a felon from an incident that cost him six years in a federal penitentiary. He has one more year left on parole. He married a professional "psychic" he met online who we believe has borderline personality disorder. There have been several instances of serious physical abuse toward my son. He is constantly trying to adapt to her ever-changing moods to reduce these conflicts, to no avail.
Yesterday she smashed a coffee pot into Pete's face, causing a 3-inch gash. Then she took his guitar and smashed in the windows of his truck. When she's not violent, she threatens to kill herself. She recently moved here from the U.K. and must maintain a living situation with her husband for at least a year to establish citizenship. Pete wants to stick it out for the sake of his wife's daughter.
I think my son should call the police and make a report, but he is afraid of how she would and will retaliate. She knows his background and could accuse him of anything, if it comes down to a "he said/she said" situation. I'm not sure what to do, Abby. Any thoughts? -- DESPERATE MOM IN MARYLAND
DEAR DESPERATE MOM: For his own safety, your son should not continue living with someone as volatile as this woman. Pete could be even more seriously injured in her next attack if he stays. When she acts out again -- notice I didn't say "if" -- I agree that he should call the police and make a report. He should also go to an emergency room for treatment and to have his injuries photographed.
If his parole officer doesn't know what has been going on, he or she should be informed. If Pete thinks his wife could harm her daughter, he should report it to child protective services.
He should never have allowed himself to be held hostage by her threats to kill herself, which is classic emotional blackmail. This "citizenship" marriage has been a sham from the beginning, and your son should end it.