Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Couple's Adoption of Foster Child Causes Family Rift

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Jeff," and I are fostering a 17-year-old girl we plan to adopt. Jeff's mother grew up in foster care, and after learning about her life and hardship, I felt we should help out in this way.

I am a stay-at-home mother with three other children (6, 8 and 14), and we are a very tight-knit family, spending most of our time together. We love our foster daughter and look forward to many good times together.

The problem is my sister. She's very opinionated and has made it obvious that she is against our adopting another child. She feels the decision should have been made by our entire family, including her and my parents. My husband and I disagree, as do our kids.

My relationship with my sister has been strained for most of our lives, so her behavior does not come as a surprise. We would love to hear your opinion about what she said. -- JUST LOOKING TO GIVE BACK

DEAR JUST LOOKING: Since you asked, I think your sister must be living in some kind of alternate reality. If you and your husband want to enlarge your family, it's nobody else's business, and for her to say something like what she did is the height of gall.

Read more in: Family & Parenting