Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Hospitality Takes A Holiday During Visits To Daughter's House

DEAR ABBY: My husband's daughter and her husband are in their early 40s. When they invite us to visit them, there is never any preparation or advance planning. They provide no clean sheets or towels. If they order out, they expect us to pay.

When they visit us, they leave beer cans in the bookcases, devour all snacks without asking, etc. Their house smells strongly of pet odors. If we opt to stay in a hotel, they are offended.

Every occasion revolves around drinking alcohol, and lots of it. I'll have one drink, so they won't say I am uptight and feel uncomfortable around me. My husband is intimidated by his strong-willed daughter, and wishes this just would all go away.

There have been many, many more incidents and overall generally narcissistic and rude behavior. My husband wants a relationship with his daughter. What to do? -- JUST WANTS TO RELAX

DEAR JUST WANTS: You either grin and bear it -- and that includes laundering your own sheets and towels when you visit -- or send your husband to visit his daughter alone.

Read more in: Family & Parenting