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by Abigail Van Buren

Son Senses Mother's Disapproval When He Reaches Out To Dad

DEAR ABBY: I have recently begun a relationship with my biological father, "Frank," after not seeing him since I was 4. My mother and stepfather raised me and I am very close to them. But after talking to Frank and meeting him face to face, I have gotten close to him as well.

His relationship with Mom ended badly. They were very young and he takes all the blame. Mom has always said that if I have a relationship with Frank, she wants no part of it. After I told her I have been talking to him for two years, she became upset and has been short with me and my wife ever since.

I want to continue to develop what I have with my biological father, but I'm not sure how to handle Mom if she's going to be so hurt and upset over it. Can you advise? -- ANDY IN GEORGIA

DEAR ANDY: Tell your mother you have noticed a change in her behavior, and feel that she is punishing you for having an interest in knowing your biological father. If that's the case, in the future do not discuss anything about Frank with her since she has made clear that she doesn't want to hear it.

If you haven't discussed this with your stepfather, please consider enlisting his help because he may be able to explain your feelings to your mother better than you can.

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