Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Opinion Of Granddaughter Is Colored By Her Tattoos

DEAR ABBY: My wife has children and two grandchildren from a previous marriage. Her granddaughter, "Jasmine," is 19. We were never close to her or her mother, but we tried to heal old wounds a few years ago.

Once Jasmine turned 17 she started getting tattoos. She now has them all over her body -- thighs, chest, stomach. She has a full sleeve on one arm and a half-sleeve on the other. She has piercings in her ear lobes and has pierced her nipples.

At this point, I don't want her in my house and neither does my wife. I don't want to be seen with her in public, and because her mother allowed her to do this, I would rather cut all ties with them. My wife agrees. I don't see us changing our minds. Your opinion, Abby? -- GROUCHY TEXAN

DEAR TEXAN: I am glad you asked, because it appears you and your wife have forgotten that underneath those tattoos and piercings is a grandchild. I understand her body "art" may be off-putting, but I'm disappointed that nowhere in your letter did you express what kind of person Jasmine is.

I'm sure that like most people, she has more to offer than what's on the surface. She may be a sensitive, loving, caring, talented and intelligent individual who would love a relationship with you and her grandmother, and be deeply hurt by the sentiments you have expressed. That said, unless you can look deeper and get to know and love Jasmine for the person she is, it would be better for her to avoid such shallow individuals as the two of you.

Read more in: Family & Parenting