DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Patrick," and I have been dating for a year and a half. He's an incredibly sweet guy who treats me right. My family loves him and his family loves me. I can't see myself being with anyone else.
The problem is, he's very stubborn about certain things -- like his health. It's a constant battle to get him to go to the doctor or dentist. I worry about him sometimes when he is ill. When he insists he doesn't want to see a doctor, it makes me feel like he doesn't care about making sure he's healthy enough to spend the rest of his life with me.
Patrick is my first serious boyfriend, so I'm not sure if this is just a "guy thing" or if it's just his problem. Am I wrong to be upset that he cares so little about his health, or should I let him be? -- PROACTIVE IN LOUISIANA
DEAR PROACTIVE: You appear to be wrongly attributing your boyfriend's reluctance to see a doctor or dentist to a personal rejection. It may be a "guy thing" -- or there may be other reasons for it. Have you asked him if he even has a health care provider he could contact, whether he has insurance to cover it, or whether he is afraid of doctors? Some people are -- and the same goes for dentists.
It's important that you know what you're dealing with. Until you understand the reason for his resistance, you won't be able to help him resolve the problem.