DEAR ABBY: My best friend from college asked me to be in her wedding, and I was excited and happy to agree. Unfortunately, her wedding falls on the same weekend as my older sister's. Due to the distance and other family obligations, I won't be able to attend my sister "Sara's" wedding. Sara has been understanding about it, but she is upset.
I want to be as helpful as possible with the planning and preparation process as Sara is now down one bridesmaid, but I am unsure how best to do it. Is it proper to still participate in all of the bridal party activities, planning the shower, throwing a bachelorette party, etc., even though I cannot attend the ceremony? Should I try to travel there the weekend before to help with any last-second preparations for the ceremony? -- DOUBLE-BOOKED BRIDESMAID
DEAR DOUBLE-BOOKED: I don't blame Sara for being upset. The relationship between sisters is supposed to last a lifetime. On the other hand, the bonds of friendship can loosen as years pass, and often do.
Frankly, I think you made the wrong choice in deciding which wedding to participate in -- and in the interest of family harmony, you should do for your friend what you would like to do for your sister.