DEAR ABBY: I'm having a hard time with my dad. He treats me like a little kid and refuses to recognize that I'm an adult who can make my own decisions. It makes it difficult for us to get along, and I have been spending less time with him because of it.
Abby, I am 40. I haven't lived at home for more than 20 years. I'm married with kids and hold a responsible job, but he still sees me as a little girl. An example: He will tell me how to do everyday tasks and remind me not to touch the stove or leave the lights on. In his mind, I never grew up.
It has always been this way with him. I have tried talking to him about it, but all he does is roll his eyes like I'm a teenager.
Dad is in his late 60s and I'd really like to have a relationship with him while he is still alive and healthy. Is there anything I can do to make him understand his perspective is skewed and he needs to change his behavior? -- DADDY'S GIRL
DEAR DADDY's GIRL: At his age, you aren't going to change your father. Your chances of improving your relationship with him will be better if you change the way you react to what he's doing, and realize he says the things he does because it's part of what he thinks is a parent's job. Once you see the humor in it, you'll stop feeling defensive and resenting him. Trust me, it will go a long way toward your having the adult relationship with him that you crave.