DEAR ABBY: I was an invited guest at a dinner party along with a few other couples. During conversation, one of the guests mean-spiritedly used the N-word twice. I was appalled. Because it was not my home, I said nothing.
Please tell me how I could have handled this to let the bigot know this wasn't acceptable and was just plain wrong. I no longer respect this person, and I'm not sure I want to associate with him or even be in his company again. -- SHOULD HAVE SPOKEN UP
DEAR SHOULD HAVE SPOKEN UP: If you choose to avoid the person, that's your privilege and it's fine with me. There's a saying, "All that's needed for evil to flourish is for good people to say nothing." It would not have been rude to have said, "Please don't use that word around me, because I find it offensive."