DEAR ABBY: After 15 years of trying to establish a relationship with my in-laws, I recently decided to sever my contact with them. They have been deceptive and talk about me to my husband in whispers behind my back. I understand his loyalty to his family, but I strongly feel that continuing to deny that their behavior is unhealthy is unhealthy for me. Being forced to see them makes me physically ill.
How can I help my husband see that he can have a relationship with his parents without my participation? -- I'M DONE, IN ARIZONA
DEAR DONE: Avoiding your in-laws isn't the answer. If your husband hasn't stood up to his parents and sided with you before now, your marriage is in trouble. Find a licensed marriage counselor who can "help" him realize that what his parents have been doing is undercutting his wife and sabotaging his marriage. Then cross your fingers that he's strong enough to do something to correct it.