DEAR ABBY: I'm a 28-year-old gay man who recently graduated with a liberal arts degree. I have always struggled to support myself. I'm often discouraged because of professional and personal mistakes, which leads me to be pessimistic about my future.
I want to date. I know love isn't going to be the save-all, but it would be nice to hang out with someone from time to time. My problem is, in the past men have been critical of my lack of success. They are often unimpressed with me. Successful men won't date me. Yet I feel intellectually incompatible with the blue-collar guys I've been with.
I'd like to be able to have conversations about literature, film and maybe world events, but the men I'm drawn to are out of my league. Must I suck it up and take what I can get? Do you think that maybe if my life was in order, I'd have better luck with men? -- DENVER PO'BOY
DEAR DENVER PO'BOY: I do. It appears that in addition to self-esteem problems, you are drawn to men who are intellectual snobs. Intelligent, successful men -- and women -- are attracted to people who feel good about themselves and have interesting things to say. Because these individuals are often "targets," they are not particularly drawn to people who might regard them as meal tickets.
So by all means get your life in order. When you dwell less on your mistakes (we all make them) and think positive, your chances of finding friends like yourself will be better.