DEAR ABBY: I am getting married to a wonderful man. He suggested that his close friend "Zoe" would like to be a bridesmaid, so I asked her and she accepted.
The problem is, I have sent multiple messages to Zoe regarding the color we have selected for the bridesmaid dresses and also asked if she'd like to come along when I look for my wedding dress. I have received no response at all from her. My fiance has also contacted her, and he hasn't heard back, either.
Is it OK if I decide to use someone else who is willing to participate in the events leading up to the wedding, and not just the ceremony? -- FIRST- AND ONLY-TIME BRIDE
DEAR BRIDE: Have your fiance check with Zoe to see if she's OK and her contact information is correct. Then send Zoe a written message explaining that because she hasn't responded to your previous messages, you and your fiance assume she won't be participating in the pre-wedding activities and would prefer not to be one of your bridesmaids. Say that you both hope she will attend the wedding as a guest and send her an invitation. If she accepts -- fine. However, if you don't hear from her, take her off the list.