DEAR ABBY: I had a closet full of clothes I found hard to part with, although they no longer fit me. Usually, I give my gently used clothes to my local donation center, but for the past year I have held onto some expensive designer items that I'm hoping to fit into again.
My sister-in-law helped me move recently and asked me if she could have some of the items. We are close, and I was happy to give them to her because I could see how much she liked them.
I have just learned that she took the items to a consignment store and sold them. If I had known she was going to sell my clothes, I wouldn't have given them to her. I feel deceived, and the money she received should belong to me. Should I address this issue with her or keep pretending that I know nothing about it? -- SWINDLED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR SWINDLED: I'm not sure "swindled" is the word I would choose, but I agree you were taken advantage of because you were led to believe your SIL wanted the clothing for herself. Because "once a gift is given it belongs to the recipient to do with as she (or he) pleases," I don't think you should confront her now. Bide your time, and when she asks you for more things in the future -- and she will -- that would be the appropriate time to refuse and tell her the reason why.