Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Sister Getting Married Opts Out of All-Inclusive Affair

DEAR ABBY: My only sister, "Carolyn," is getting married in two months. I'm ecstatic for her. She and her girlfriend turned 50 this year, and this is the happiest I have ever seen her. They are perfect together. Carolyn asked me to be her maid of honor and I gladly accepted. I am also decorating for her small wedding and reception.

When I received my wedding invitation last week, I was shocked and saddened. It was addressed to me and my kids only. My significant other, "Greg" (the kids' father), and I were married for 22 years and divorced three years ago. We have had some tough times but did reconcile. Even though we are divorced, we stayed together and never split households.

I have no idea how to tell Greg. I asked Carolyn if excluding Greg had been an oversight, and she said she would just prefer that he not be there. I can respect that, and I don't want to cause any drama or take anything away from her day.

Does this seem appropriate? My feelings are hurt, and I could have used Greg's help with things. How do I tell him he's not invited? -- IN A WEDDING QUANDARY

DEAR QUANDARY: Tell Greg the same way you told me. And after you do, don't be surprised that the relationship Greg has with Carolyn and her wife will be more distant than it has been.

It's possible that when you and Greg divorced, she developed a dislike for him that didn't abate after you reconciled, and it's sad that she chose this occasion to display it. Personally, I think her choice is one she'll regret in the future, but neither you nor I can change it.

Read more in: Holidays & Celebrations | Family & Parenting | Marriage & Divorce