Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Birthday Party Turns Ugly After Alcoholic Toast

DEAR ABBY: I physically assaulted a male friend (Aiden) who I was -- and still am -- interested in. I'm a survivor of domestic violence and have a troubled past. I have sworn not to touch alcohol, and shared with him some of the horror stories regarding what happens when I drink.

A few weeks ago, I hosted a mutual friend's birthday party at my house. Long story short, Aiden suggested I take a shot. I was unwilling at first, but finally agreed to a birthday toast. After that toast, things are blurry for me. According to other friends at the party, I went crazy.

I want so bad to tell Aiden that I know what I did was unacceptable, but I know he may never see or speak to me again. As someone who has lived through being abused, I know this is a very difficult thing to ever forgive. How can I even look him in the eye if he ever speaks to me again? -- SORRY BEYOND WORDS

DEAR SORRY: Recognizing the part that Aiden played in what happened might help. You described your past and warned him about what happens when you have a drink. Knowing that, he never should have suggested you have an alcoholic beverage to make the birthday toast.

If your paths cross, stand up straight and say you're sorry. But frankly, he owes you an apology, too.

Read more in: Abuse | Addiction