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by Abigail Van Buren

Hunt For Perfect Job May Lead Away From Home

DEAR ABBY: What if someone wants to move away from one parent but not the other? I'm 25 and interviewing for jobs. It would be nice to become independent, but for the right reasons. I am tired of my father's selfish, ignorant attitude, but I would miss seeing my mother. As she gets older, she seems to accommodate my dad's all-for-himself attitude even more.

If I take a job that's out of state, I don't want to feel like I'm "running away." How should I approach leaving the one family member I care about? -- MOVING FORWARD IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MOVING: Continue interviewing for jobs for which you are qualified, regardless of where they are located. If more than one company wants to hire you, select the one that offers the best wages and benefits and seems to be the best fit for you.

If the company is located in your city, you may not have to leave your mother and you may be able to limit the time you must spend with your father. Should you get an enticing offer that bases you in another location, to accept it would not be running away; it would be making an intelligent career choice. Your mom might be able to visit you sans Dad periodically if the expense isn't prohibitive, and you would be establishing your independence for the right reason.

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