DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, I loaned a small amount of money to a close friend I have known since childhood. She promised to pay me back, but has yet to do so. I wasn't too concerned because it was a minimal amount, but a few months ago she asked to borrow a larger amount. Again, I didn't hesitate to help her out because she has been there for me several times in the past in important ways -- although they weren't financial.
Because the recent loan was a large one, I would like to be repaid. How do I tactfully ask her for the money without seeming petty or like I'm nagging? (I don't like confrontation.) And is it too late to ask that the previous smaller amount be included as well? -- FRIEND, NOT AN ATM
DEAR FRIEND: You don't have to be confrontational, and I wouldn't advise it anyway. In light of the fact that your friend has made no effort to repay the first loan for an entire year, it would be neither pushy nor nagging to ask when she intends to start. If she can't come up with the entire amount, perhaps she can repay a little each month. However, if she can't/won't start paying you back, you may have to accept that you won't be getting any of your money.
In the future, you should not lend anyone money without first getting a signed note stating that the money is owed to you and when it will be repaid. That way, if necessary, you can take the matter to court and have a leg to stand on when you get there.