DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and have planned our first vacation together. We decided to split the expenses 50/50.
Last week, he announced that he has invited his sister and her boyfriend to go along and stay with us in the apartment we rented. Not only was I shocked that he would invite them without checking with me first, I became upset when he said he wasn't asking them to pitch in any money. Normally I'm not stingy when it comes to sharing, but I'm angry and I wonder if I'm overreacting.
His mother died last year, and his sister is the only family he has left, which he tends to remind me of to make me feel guilty. How should I react to this? -- AMBER IN TEXAS
DEAR AMBER: Tell your boyfriend that out of consideration for you, he should have cleared it with you before inviting anyone to come along. When he tries to make you feel guilty by reminding you that his sister is all the family he has left, patiently explain that you understand that, but this was supposed to be your first trip together -- just the two of you -- and this has taken the romance out of it.
Then make it clear that you do not intend to foot the bill for Sissy and her boyfriend because that isn't fair to you. And if he doesn't agree, cancel the trip because you wouldn't enjoy it anyway.