DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my 30-year-old boyfriend, "Jonah," for a year. He seems to be obsessively addicted to a computer video game he has played for five years. He plays many hours a day -- first thing in the morning, last thing at night and all his free time in between -- although he willingly goes on outings with me when I ask.
Even when Jonah isn't on his computer playing the game, he reads the discussion forums online with his mobile device. It's affecting our relationship. It also doesn't help that he recently lost his job.
I don't like seeing him waste his time on this and his lack of ambition about the important things in life. What can I do to help Jonah, or is this normal? -- GAME OVER IN THE NORTHWEST
DEAR GAME OVER: When a hobby interferes with relationships, it is not "normal." Exactly when did Jonah become "obsessively addicted"? Was he this way when you met him? If this has been going on for the entire year you have been together, your boyfriend may be more comfortable in the cyber world than in this one. However, if this escalated when he lost his job, the video game may be his attempt to cope with depression.
Jonah would be better served by devoting the attention he's lavishing on the game to finding a job. If you want to help him, suggest that he spend more of his time in the real world until his life is settled again -- and tell him that if he's depressed, he should talk about it to his doctor.