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by Abigail Van Buren

Ghost Of Broken Engagement Shadows Wedding Dress

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I have talked about becoming engaged. The subject of the wedding dress came up. She broke off a past engagement last year, and she has asked me whether it would be OK for her to use the dress she chose for the wedding that didn't happen. She says only her mother and the seamstress have seen it. She doesn't want to be out $1,000 and says she does not associate the gown with her ex-fiance.

I feel we should try to sell the dress, although it was tailored for her, and pick a new one. What do you think is appropriate? I don't like the idea of looking back at the wedding photos and thinking the dress was meant for another man. -- FUTURE HUSBAND IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HUSBAND: Actually, the dress was meant for your fiancee and not another man. There are specialists who can redesign an existing wedding dress. However, because you have negative associations with this gown, offer to sweeten the pot by chipping in if she can't get $1,000 for the one she has. I think the most "appropriate" thing on your wedding day should be that you are both comfortable, happy and, above all, in sync.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Money | Etiquette & Ethics