Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Ignorance of Dad's New Life Is Bliss to His Daughters

DEAR ABBY: I am a widower in my mid-80s and have met a lovely widow, "Diane," also in her 80s. What started as a "let's do lunch" friendship has developed into a close, affectionate relationship. Neither of us wants to take this to the next level, but we do want to spend as much time together as we can in the years left to us. We have a very active social life with friends and with Diane's family who live in the same town.

My daughters, who live in another city and rarely visit, profess to like her and say they are happy that I have someone in my life. But they have asked that I be sensitive to their feelings of loss for my late wife, who died four years ago. They don't want me to share what we do and where we go, which is hard when Diane is such a part of my life.

My problem is Diane and I want to spend a weekend in the city in which my children live to attend the theater. We will be sharing a hotel room. Do we tell them our plans and that we would like to see them while there, or not? Diane isn't comfortable going behind their backs, but she also doesn't want to cause a rift in my family. Neither do I. What would you advise? -- UNCERTAIN IN MARYLAND

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Your daughters have told you they don't want you to share what you do with your lady friend and where you go, and I am advising you to abide by their wishes. If word should get back to them that you were in town and they ask about it, be honest and don't lie. And please, live every moment of your life to the fullest in the time God allows, and don't permit your family to diminish one minute of it.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Family & Parenting