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by Abigail Van Buren

Curious Wife Finds a Surprise in Husband's Medical Records

DEAR ABBY: I recently started working at the hospital where my husband receives his primary care. One afternoon, out of curiosity, I accessed his medical records. In his file it was noted that he is high risk for STDs. In fact, he was treated for two different ones some years back.

I have been tested for STDs during all my annual physicals, and the results were always negative. I think it's because we often go for weeks without any sexual contact.

What should I do with this information? How do I talk to him about it without letting him know that I'm aware of his medical history? -- CONCERNED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR CONCERNED: Unless you claim to be clairvoyant, I don't see how you can discuss this without admitting you accessed his medical records, which is against the law. Be prepared for him to be irate, because the best defense is a strong offense. You are lucky your husband hasn't given you an STD.

By all means talk with him about this, if only to find out whether you have sex so infrequently because he's having relations with other people. Now that you know what has been going on, you have some serious thinking to do about staying in this marriage.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Health & Safety