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by Abigail Van Buren

Sister Hopes to Break the Ice With Brother After 14 Years of Silence

DEAR ABBY: My brother, my only sibling, hasn't contacted me in 14 years. I have tried to figure out why. I wasn't mean to him, and we didn't fight. My cousin told me it's because I called him incessantly years ago. I don't recall having done such a thing.

I really miss and care about him. I live in a group home and wonder if he's ashamed of me. He has accomplished more job-wise than I have.

I want to move on with my life, but I continue to fixate on why he seems to hate me. I could use your opinion. What advice do you have for me? -- HIS SISTER IN MARYLAND

DEAR SISTER: What a sad situation. Not knowing your brother, I can't guess his reason for distancing himself. That's why I'm advising you to write him a letter. Tell him how you feel, that you miss and care about him and would like to know why he hasn't contacted you during all this time.

He may or may not respond. But if he doesn't, please understand that his silence has less to do with you or your living situation than it does about him and his inability to empathize. You have every right to live your life as fully and enjoyably as possible, and whatever happens, I hope you will do that.

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