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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Who Wants Implants Must Ignore Boyfriend's Threats

DEAR ABBY: I have always struggled with a lack of self-esteem and confidence. I would like to get breast implants. It's not to seek attention or anything; it's merely to feel better about myself. Clothes don't fit me properly, and I am embarrassed.

My boyfriend is completely against it. He says he doesn't want to be with a fake person, even though I have tried in vain to tell him I'll be the same person on the inside. He has also threatened that we will have relationship problems if I have the surgery done.

This procedure will, in my opinion, help me in many ways. On the other hand, I don't want to lose my boyfriend! Please help. -- DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE HIM

DEAR DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE HIM: Which is more important to you -- to do something that will make you feel more confident about your appearance or hang onto this boyfriend? He may be worried that you will attract too much attention if you change your appearance, or have a hang-up about "relations" with a woman who has implants.

If he were your husband, I might answer differently, but from where I sit, you have to do what's best for you. A boyfriend who would prevent you from boosting your self-confidence strikes me as selfish and not much of a "friend" at all.

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