DEAR ABBY: When I was in my 20s and out on my own, my father left my mother for his secretary, "Doris." They married soon after. She is a nice enough person, but she can be a little pushy. I have had to work on setting boundaries with her.
Every time we talk or visit -- maybe once a month -- Doris makes a point of telling me she loves me, and it's clear she's hoping I will reciprocate. I'm happy we are on good terms. I'm glad she's married to my dad because he seems happy with her. I'm comfortable with my daughter calling her Grandma. But I can't bring myself to tell her I love her because I don't feel that way about her.
I hoped Doris would get it when I responded with things like, "It's great to see you, too," but it hasn't happened. She's estranged from her own daughter, and I think she wants to feel like she's my mom, which I'm not comfortable with.
Dad refuses to talk about anything related to his wife, so he is of no help. How can I get my stepmother to back off without hurting her feelings? I want to remain on good terms. -- ON GOOD TERMS IN ILLINOIS
DEAR ON GOOD TERMS: Try saying this: "You're loved, too, Doris." It's not a lie because your dad does love her, and it may satisfy her if she doesn't see this column.