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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman's Male Roommate Wants to Be Friends With No Benefits

DEAR ABBY: I am a divorcee with a problem. My longtime friend "Paul" and I decided to move in together so I could save some money because of my very expensive divorce. The problem is, I think I am falling for him, and I get really jealous when he brings dates home.

When I told him I'm starting to have feelings for him, he said he cares for me, but not in that way. How can I keep my jealousy in check so I don't ruin a good friendship? -- OVER THE LINE IN UTAH

DEAR OVER THE LINE: I'm going to take a risk and make a generalization, because there is much truth to it. When couples divorce, one or both partners' self-esteem often takes a huge hit. People often feel vulnerable and in need of someone to love them, make them feel attractive, be a partner to them, etc. Could this be you? Might this have something to do with your resentment of the women Paul is seeing?

Your friend has been no more than a supportive friend at a time when you needed one. If you can't accept it for what it is, then for your own emotional health find another place to live because, even if you're saving money, this arrangement is too expensive.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Friends & Neighbors | Money