DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old college student who has never been in a relationship. I try to be as much of an extrovert as possible, but it's hard for me.
I have romantic feelings for a guy I have known for two years. When we see each other in class, we hug and talk a little. I'm having trouble telling him how I feel because, as I've learned from past experience, he may not feel the same.
I don't want to be a big baby about this, but I have a fear of rejection. I have experienced it numerous times. I know it's a part of life, but I don't know if I can take it again. Please tell me what to do about this guy. I can't stop thinking about him. -- HOPELESS ROMANTIC
DEAR HOPELESS ROMANTIC: Before declaring your feelings, get to know a little more about your classmate, like whether he's romantically involved with someone else. A way to do that would be to suggest having coffee after class or helping each other study for an exam. Neither of those approaches would be "risky." If he agrees, you will have a better chance of gauging whether he's attracted to you, too. Because he hugs you when he sees you, it's safe to assume he is not repelled.
Let me let you in on a little secret: I don't know anyone who, having experienced rejection, has found it pleasurable. Some of the most successful people I know have encountered rejection more than once, but they didn't let it stop them. Because your fear is preventing you from reaching out, talk about it with a psychologist at the student health center. If you do, it may help you feel more confident in putting yourself out there.