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by Abigail Van Buren

Man's Sister Lets Loose With List Of Girlfriend's Faults

DEAR ABBY: I am a 27-year-old man dating a woman the same age. "Kelli" and I have been happily together for two years.

My sister's recent wedding prompted me to start ring shopping. My sister used this opportunity to come forward "on behalf of the family" to tell me marrying Kelli would be a mistake. She proceeded to spout off two dozen reasons why we shouldn't be together -- ranging from Kelli's lack of social graces to her haircut. Then she gave me an ultimatum to choose between Kelli and her.

Things have calmed down in the weeks since, but I am concerned my family will never trust my judgment and will mistreat Kelli. I have never been treated so well by a partner, and I don't want to lose her. Please give me some feedback. -- STUCK IN THE MIDDLE IN MARYLAND

DEAR STUCK: To say that your sister's outburst was out of line would be an understatement. That she would demand that you "choose" between her and your girlfriend is ridiculous.

Because you are serious about Kelli, rather than regard what your sister said as a policy statement from the rest of the family, ask them how they feel about your girlfriend. Some may like her; some may not. But you should not decide whom to marry based on anyone else's opinion other than your own. They don't have to live with her; only you do.

P.S. Mature adults do not allow anyone to abuse their spouses.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Family & Parenting