DEAR ABBY: I recently got into an argument with my mom regarding her speakerphone. I've also argued with other family members and friends over this. I believe it is rude to not let someone know that they are on speakerphone, particularly when others are present.
I feel it violates trust and the sense of intimacy that comes with speaking to the person you intended to call in the first place. Mom says it depends on the topic and that a "Heads up! You're on speakerphone" isn't necessary. Who's right? -- SPEECHLESS IN THE WEST
DEAR SPEECHLESS: You are. When someone makes a phone call, the caller usually expects that the conversation will be private. However, since you now know your mother doesn't agree, either stop confiding anything that you wouldn't reveal in a roomful of relatives, or ask at the beginning of the conversation whether the speaker is on so you'll be forewarned.