DEAR ABBY: I am a rent-paying adult tenant who lives at home with my mother. Mom gave a house key to my sister and brother to be used in the event of an emergency. On several occasions they have used their key to enter the house unannounced, startling both me and Mom.
I have asked them to please either knock or use the doorbell and wait to be let in when dropping by unannounced like anyone else would do. My brother has graciously honored my request. My sister thinks that because she was given a key she has the right to unlock the door and come into our home whenever she wants to.
I find what she's doing intrusive and upsetting. How can I get her to respect my wishes and honor my privacy in my own home? Mom agrees with me, but is reluctant to ask my sister to return the key. -- ADULT TENANT IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR ADULT TENANT: Your sister may feel that because the house technically belongs to your mother (in spite of the fact that you are paying rent) that she doesn't have to respect your wishes. Unless your mother is willing to assert herself and tell your sister she feels the same way you do, and if it happens again she wants her house key returned, the problem will continue. At this point, the ball is in Mom's court.