DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Evan," and my mother do not get along. It began when our second child was born.
Mom came to help out, and she and Evan engaged in tense conversations concerning politics and religion. I asked them to please not talk about such things with each other, but they didn't listen. Two days after my arrival home with the baby, they had a huge argument and Mom walked out. She has never returned to our home.
Since then, I have never had a holiday with my parents, although I do travel once or twice a year with the kids to see them. Mom and Evan did come to an understanding when our third child was born, but that, too, ended in separation six months later.
I have tried asking them both to apologize or talk with each other, to no avail. I can't control either person, so what suggestions do you have to repair the relationship so I can have family holidays and get-togethers again? -- IN THE MIDDLE IN COLORADO
DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: From where I sit, you're not in the middle -- your husband and your mother are on the outs. Much as you might wish differently, the only people who can fix this are the two of them. If they were more mature, they would, in the name of family harmony, agree to disagree.
Until they reorganize their priorities, you have no choice but to create your own family during holidays by getting together and celebrating with friends or other relatives if they are close by.