DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my early 60s. I take good care of myself and have been told I'm attractive. I have been in a monogamous relationship with "Frank" for six years. I love him and he loves me, but I'm not sure I want to marry him.
I know I couldn't live with Frank full-time because even though he's 57, he lives like an immature frat boy. He has sports memorabilia all over his house, and he's messy. There are piles of paper and stacks of clothes everywhere. He is a hoarder, a procrastinator and has OCD.
Frank and I are best friends. We have an amazing physical relationship, but I feel I want more. I don't think he's willing to change his ways at this point in his life. Should I accept this relationship for what it is, or look for someone more compatible with my lifestyle, as hard as that would be? -- TORN IN TEXAS
DEAR TORN: I think you should have a talk with Frank and lay your cards on the table. You say he is a hoarder, a procrastinator and has OCD. If you are right, they may all be connected. His house isn't the only thing that may be chaotic; his mind may be, too.
The good news is there is help for OCD and hoarding -- but only if he is willing to get it. If he is open to it, your relationship could go to the next level. However, if he is resistant and marriage is what you want, it would be better to move on and find someone whose lifestyle is more like your own.