DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Caitlyn," and I are in our 40s and have been living together for a year. My family has invited us to go on a cruise for New Year's, all expenses paid. Because Caitlyn can't get time off from her job at the hospital, she doesn't want me to go, either.
Also, in the fall I will be traveling to Europe with my dad to visit relatives. (He's 80.) These trips don't happen all the time; it's an unusual year.
Should I refuse the cruise and miss out on being with my extended family to stay home with her while she works? I think Caitlyn's being selfish to expect me to. We spend all our free time together. We have been to Las Vegas and on a cruise recently. Please advise. -- HELD BACK IN OHIO
DEAR HELD BACK: You and Caitlyn are adults in your 40s. At that age, Caitlyn should be independent enough to tell you to go and have a good time with your family. And you should be mature enough to discuss this with her without involving me.