DEAR ABBY: My husband, for the most part, is a happy-go-lucky, funny person during the day. But once we sit down to dinner, he starts criticizing and making mean comments about me. Once dinner is over, he's back to being pleasant.
I have addressed this with him to no avail. I have tried ignoring his comments, changing the subject, asking calmly for him to make his concerns known before or after rather than during the meal. I have suggested we eat dinner away from the table or separately. I have sought the counsel of a therapist and tried implementing her suggestions.
I am at my wits' end. I'm a well-educated, good person, a good wife and co-provider. I do not understand why he acts this way at the dinner table. Your thoughts, Abby? -- IT'S ALL GOOD, UNTIL ...
DEAR IT'S ALL GOOD: When someone tells me, "It's all good" and then describes a marriage in which her husband beats her down emotionally once a day, I have to wonder what her definition of "good" is. For whatever reason, your husband appears to be trying to punish you for something by deliberately upsetting you every evening.
Was it his behavior that caused you to seek counseling or something else? I ask because I think the wrong spouse may have seen the therapist. Unless he decides to get help and find a healthier way of channeling his anger/frustration, nothing will change, because as it stands, there have been no "consequences" for his actions.