DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Gene" for three years, living together for a year and a half. We're both divorced and love each other very much.
Our biggest problem is, he doesn't keep a "normal" schedule. Gene eats at odd hours, exercises at the strangest times and will stay awake 'til the wee hours of the morning, then crash for a day or so. He seems unfazed by this wackiness. He's responsible, holds a good job and comes from a terrific family, but his habits are taking a toll on me.
There are days when I want him home for dinner, or I want to cuddle with him. I want a normal schedule. This is tricky because I have accepted his lifestyle and now the brakes have come on for me. Gene doesn't understand my sudden change of attitude, and frankly, neither do I.
Do I have only two choices -- accept him for who he is or find someone who follows a more conventional schedule? I love him so much that leaving would be very hard to do. -- WANTS A NORMAL LIFE
DEAR WANTS: It would be interesting to know what Gene does for a living. Does he work in a casino? Show business?
It's possible your change in attitude has come about because you now realize that you might be living his unconventional lifestyle for the rest of your life. Compromises you could make on a temporary basis can seem daunting when you see they'll be permanent.
If you need someone who lives his life on a normal schedule, one of you will have to make some changes. You will either have to accept this as your future or Gene will have to change his lifestyle. Because he seems to thrive on the schedule he's living on, the adjustment may be very difficult for him.