DEAR ABBY: After some extensive traveling, I have to ask -- who on earth told people they look good in skinny jeans? -- O.M.G! IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR O.M.G.!: The salesperson.
DEAR ABBY: After some extensive traveling, I have to ask -- who on earth told people they look good in skinny jeans? -- O.M.G! IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR O.M.G.!: The salesperson.
DEAR ABBY: When I was a child, my parents skipped my elementary school graduation. For that matter, everyone did. My grandfather had just died, so Mom was mourning his loss. Fast-forward a few years -- nobody attended my junior high graduation, either. Granted, Mom had a couple of stitches in her nose because my brother had accidentally hit her with a golf club the week before.
Well, my younger siblings just graduated from elementary school, and my parents have again skipped the event due to their work schedules. A mix of emotions is resurfacing for me. I'm angry and frustrated. I'm 26 now, and a long time has passed since they disappointed me, but I guess I haven't ever truly forgiven them for missing those events. After all, these are once-in-a-lifetime milestones for a child, right?
Am I justified in feeling anger toward my parents for deciding to miss not only my graduations, but also those of my younger siblings? Should I talk to them or let it go? What can I do? -- RELIVING IT IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR RELIVING IT: How has your relationship with your parents been otherwise? If they have always been loving and supportive in other ways, then perhaps you shouldn't be so hard on them. When I was young, there were high school and college graduation ceremonies with cap, gown and diploma, but none for children leaving elementary school or junior high. At most, the event might be celebrated by going out for a family dinner.
Frankly, I think that multiple graduation ceremonies -- while they may make cute photo-ops -- dilute the importance of the one from high school. If you want to "do something," rather than vent your anger at your parents, it would be more constructive if you made a point of attending your siblings' graduations in the future.
DEAR ABBY: I'm hoping you can resolve a disagreement between my wife and me. She insists on placing knives in the drying rack with the sharp ends pointing up. I insist this is a safety issue and the knives should be placed pointing down (or dried immediately). My wife counters that this will dull the points and that drying with a towel will dull the blades. I know it sounds trivial, but we argue about it every day. Can you help resolve our disagreement? -- LOOKING FOR RESOLUTION
DEAR LOOKING: Please stop arguing. I think the solution would be for your wife to be the person who puts the knives away.
DEAR ABBY: My best friend is getting married and asked me to be her maid of honor. She has also asked me to buy an expensive dress, host a lavish shower I'm afraid I can't afford and plan a destination bachelorette party. The cost will be exorbitant.
On top of this, she has asked me to be her "cover" when she lies to her fiance about where she is. She has admitted to me that she has cheated on him, and I think she's doing it again.
I know it's not my place to question her or tell her what to do, but this has made me hesitant to commit financially to her wedding. Should I talk to her about this? I don't want to lose my best friend, but I also don't want to put my money on the line for someone who isn't being honest. -- DRAGGING MY HEELS IN NEW YORK
DEAR DRAGGING YOUR HEELS: Do not question your friend or tell her what to do, but do convey to her that you can't function as her maid of honor because you can't afford the cost. And the next time she asks you to cover for her, tell her you no longer want to be a party to deceiving her fiance because you're having trouble looking him in the eye.
Your best friend sounds like a piece of work, and if it costs you the friendship you won't have lost much. This girl lacks both judgment and character, and you'll be better off to distance yourself. Both of you should mingle with people with whom you have more in common.
DEAR ABBY: I don't know where to start so I will just plunge in: I have five kids by five different men. I am not a terrible person. I have a job, take care of my babies and am working toward a degree. But sometimes I feel like the ultimate loser. I get judged all the time. I'm so ashamed of the choices I have made in life. Will it ever be better? -- 5 KIDS, 5 DADS IN OREGON
DEAR 5-5: You will see an improvement as soon as you stop beating yourself up over the choices you have made. No one can change the past. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and make a conscious decision not to repeat them. And as to those who judge you, they should judge not, lest they, too, be judged.
DEAR ABBY: My husband thinks we should snuggle up and sleep together even when we're sick. I think it's common courtesy to keep a respectable distance from loved ones and to clean up after yourself when you have a "bug" that is communicable. I need to stay as healthy as possible to keep up with the needs of our child, the housework and my job while my husband is sick. Your thoughts? -- MARRIED TO A MAN-CHILD WHO NEEDS A MOMMY
DEAR MARRIED TO A MAN-CHILD: Your husband may think I'm heartless, but I agree with you. While he may "need" you emotionally, his rational self should accept that with a child in the house and the demands of your job, you need to stay well and functional.
His tissues, meds and a pitcher of water should be by the bed. There should be a wastebasket for his tissues. He should wash his hands before touching anything, and you should use hand sanitizer liberally. You should sleep elsewhere. The "cuddling" can wait until he's no longer contagious.
P.S. And don't forget to sympathize.
DEAR ABBY: My 19-year-old son has been dating the daughter of one of my friends I'll call "Mona." We didn't set them up; they met at some parties. Last summer we discovered they were having sex because "Meghan" thought she was pregnant. Luckily, it turned out she wasn't. They broke up but have gotten back together recently.
When I asked Mona if she was putting Meghan on birth control, Mona said that she wouldn't because "that would be letting her know it's OK to have sex." I said, "Better safe than sorry!" and we left it at that.
I let my son use my car last weekend and found an opened box of emergency contraception on the floor. Because my son never answers his phone, I called Meghan and stressed to her that unprotected sex is irresponsible and that they aren't ready for a baby. I warned her to take precautions and get on birth control, and I helped her to make the arrangements.
Was it wrong to discuss this behind her mother's back? Should I tell Mona after promising Meghan I wouldn't say anything? What should I do? -- MOM VERSUS FRIEND
DEAR MOM: Wrong? You deserve a medal. And you should now have the conversation with your son that you should have had before the first pregnancy scare, stressing to him the importance of using condoms not only to protect himself and Meghan from an unplanned pregnancy, but also an STD if she isn't the only girl he's having sex with. Girls don't get pregnant all by themselves.
As to telling your friend Mona, who seems to have the parental insight of an ostrich where her daughter is concerned, keep your promise to Meghan and your lips sealed. Meghan needs a woman she can confide in, and your friend seems to prefer living in fantasyland rather than giving her daughter the support and guidance she needs.
DEAR ABBY: I live in Colorado. In my state marijuana is legal now. What do you think about my inviting my adult children (they are all over 21) and my aging dad to get stoned with me? I think it might stimulate conversation and motivate more family time than we spend together now. What do you think of "family night" with marijuana as a way to improve family unity? -- ORIGINAL THINKER IN DENVER
DEAR ORIGINAL THINKER: Were you stoned when you wrote this? If not, I think it's sad that your family would need pot in order to communicate or create family unity. While I applaud your desire to bring your family together, you can have a good time without inviting "Mary Jane." And that's what I'd recommend.