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by Abigail Van Buren

Stepmom Feels Left Out On Mother's Day

DEAR ABBY: With Mother's Day nearly upon us, would you remind your readers that stepmothers are worthy of recognition, too? If one has any regard for the feelings of his or her stepmom, PLEASE make her day by calling or visiting her and telling her how much she means to you. And I don't mean a phone call at 9 p.m.

I married my husband when his sons were in their late teens. Every Mother's Day for 14 years I have been reminded that his sons choose not to recognize me, even though our relationships are very good. (One of them is a stepfather himself.) It's a real heartbreaker, believe me. -- GIVING UP ON WAITING IN OREGON

DEAR GIVING UP ON WAITING: If you think you are the only stepmother who feels unappreciated on Mother's Day, think again. I have heard from many stepmothers who have written letters that are variations on this theme. There can be reasons for it -- the fact that you didn't raise them, fear that it would be somehow disloyal to their birth mother, unresolved relationship issues or just being preoccupied.

If you haven't discussed this with your stepsons, perhaps you should. Or better yet, your husband should. But if that doesn't solve the problem, for your own sake, stop brooding about it and direct your attention elsewhere.

Read more in: Holidays & Celebrations | Family & Parenting